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Words from Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls.
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Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Raining inside
I'm feeling really ambivalent about the Broad Ass Month nearing its end. I'm scared of December. But I'm more scared of 2009. I'm such a scaredy cat. :(
I've been fighting the urge to not cry in front of everyone earlier during our meeting. Everything's just piling up. I don't know how to feel anymore. :(
Life's a big bitch. Demmit.
I've been fighting the urge to not cry in front of everyone earlier during our meeting. Everything's just piling up. I don't know how to feel anymore. :(
Life's a big bitch. Demmit.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
unfinished
The day i've been so looking forward to (or not) has finally arrived. It's already November 1. I can die now. Wah.
Flashback to everything that happened during the last three weeks of my life. For some stubborn reason, i stopped writing on my planner since the 2nd week of October. I don't know. Maybe I just felt too busy to do so or maybe I just felt too stubborn that I'd rather not remember all the stupid things that I did during the last three weeks of my life. I know, there were also a lot of ups during the course of the last three weeks of October. Just like our very successful BC121 finals or the Bataan Getaway that I had with the Assers. But generally, I'm really not sure. as I'm typing random thoughts now, all I can think of as I flashback to three weeks from now are the stupid things that I did which consequently led me to where I am now.
I still have looooooooooooooooooooads of stuff that I need to do for our grand celebration this November. It's my fault actually that I'm still not through with some of my responsibilities- no, slash the some- with most of my responsibilities. I don't know. Maybe because for a time I just reached my saturation point where I had to stop and rethink everything that I did and is still doing and ask myself if it's still worth it, if it still makes me happy, if it's still what I want. Right now, I just know that I HAVE TO DO THEM because I believe that someday everything WILL BE WORTH IT, everything WILL MAKE ME HAPPY, and yes, everything WILL BE WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED. Considering our stituation right now, someday may or may not arrivhie. But I really do pray for the former. I still pray for the best.
to be continued...
Hello November 3. Now, I can reeeeeally die.
November 3 is Judgment day. haha. Now, I'm really going back to the real world. I'll see the people who I want and don't want to see. I'll, no, this time WE'LL start working on our tasks together. Yes, it was hard, very hard actually, to work alone. Considering my stubborn attitude, it was very difficult for me to accomplish something during the sembreak because of the lack of motivation. I could have motivated myself, I know. But I was so friggin lost. I don't know. Ewan.
Now. In 4 hours time, i'll be travelling to my university. I'm really scared. As in scared. I don't know what to expect. I honestly missed, err, still miss the assers. But aside from that. Ewan.
Basta.
This is just another scatterbrain post.
Judgment Day.
No to TEMPTATION please.
Lord, help me.
Save Me. pewpepewpew. I feel like i'm going crazy.
Labo.
Flashback to everything that happened during the last three weeks of my life. For some stubborn reason, i stopped writing on my planner since the 2nd week of October. I don't know. Maybe I just felt too busy to do so or maybe I just felt too stubborn that I'd rather not remember all the stupid things that I did during the last three weeks of my life. I know, there were also a lot of ups during the course of the last three weeks of October. Just like our very successful BC121 finals or the Bataan Getaway that I had with the Assers. But generally, I'm really not sure. as I'm typing random thoughts now, all I can think of as I flashback to three weeks from now are the stupid things that I did which consequently led me to where I am now.
I still have looooooooooooooooooooads of stuff that I need to do for our grand celebration this November. It's my fault actually that I'm still not through with some of my responsibilities- no, slash the some- with most of my responsibilities. I don't know. Maybe because for a time I just reached my saturation point where I had to stop and rethink everything that I did and is still doing and ask myself if it's still worth it, if it still makes me happy, if it's still what I want. Right now, I just know that I HAVE TO DO THEM because I believe that someday everything WILL BE WORTH IT, everything WILL MAKE ME HAPPY, and yes, everything WILL BE WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED. Considering our stituation right now, someday may or may not arrivhie. But I really do pray for the former. I still pray for the best.
to be continued...
Hello November 3. Now, I can reeeeeally die.
November 3 is Judgment day. haha. Now, I'm really going back to the real world. I'll see the people who I want and don't want to see. I'll, no, this time WE'LL start working on our tasks together. Yes, it was hard, very hard actually, to work alone. Considering my stubborn attitude, it was very difficult for me to accomplish something during the sembreak because of the lack of motivation. I could have motivated myself, I know. But I was so friggin lost. I don't know. Ewan.
Now. In 4 hours time, i'll be travelling to my university. I'm really scared. As in scared. I don't know what to expect. I honestly missed, err, still miss the assers. But aside from that. Ewan.
Basta.
This is just another scatterbrain post.
Judgment Day.
No to TEMPTATION please.
Lord, help me.
Save Me. pewpepewpew. I feel like i'm going crazy.
Labo.